Death and...

I'd rather choose death. But only today... and some of tomorrow... or maybe all of tomorrow... until midnight. After that there are 365 days, more or less, until I'm in this spot again.

I'm sitting here trying to finish my taxes... and by finish... I mean start.

I'm going back and forth between H&R Block and IRS' homepage trying to figure out which one will be a better choice when electronically filing my taxes... because these are the decisions I should be making today.

I've been sitting at Panera since 11am. It's 2:30 almost. I have counted receipts, added contributions, dispersed W-2's, pulled out my home mortgage folder... I have the tools. But I came in looking just as someone would imagine a creative, artsy - non-math, non-linear thinking person should look as they are preparing to embark on their nightmare while still awake. Replete with multiple folders, a ziploc bag of envelopes holding more envelopes with faded and highlighted receipts, a stack of loose printer paper that has everything from iTunes to amazon purchases itemized (which is seriously not a force to be reckoned with), and every tax document I could gather, I sat down at a small-ish table. I know others have spied me from across the room all day thinking, "now, there's a poor soul" Please let me take a moment to tell you it IS all organized... I keep this stuff together. I know exactly where everything is... but it does look to be a mess and it's not clean.

In the past this hasn't been such an issue. I've never liked doing taxes... but I've never been afraid of them. This year I have a bit more complicated situation on my hands. I'm self-employed in addition to being employed by two other employers - in two neighboring states, though. I bought a house. I have to depreciate all my depreciable assets such as piano, computer, and other business related componets. And I have a mess of receipts I've had to translate from German to English while using my currency converter to find out what the Eruo to Dollar ratio is right now.

Now, as you read this I'm sure many of you are thinking, "There are people out there to help individuals like you" - this I realize... however, I believe they will treat me much like my mom when bringing in my stack... late... I imagine a shaking of the head, a few tsk's and a lecture on the importance of being prepared... like I give my students... like I got in High School. I'm avoiding that... by bringing the mess of the American Economy upon myself. It seems like a decent trade off.

Some of the more clever of you are also noting the fact that I've been writing a blog entry about what I should be doing rather than actually doing what I should be doing... again, avoidance.

I'm very self-aware.